Food Fight

For me, the words “Food Fight” conjure up images of a high school cafeteria with hundreds of students throwing peas and carrots across the room and squishing mashed potatoes in the faces of their enemies, and maybe even their friends, just for fun! It’s a raucous occasion, but in my mind it always seems like it would be exhilarating to be actively involved in slathering someone’s face with meatloaf only to turn around and have apple pie stuffed in my face. Yes, I know, I deliberately chose the pie to be stuffed in my face because, let’s face it, meatloaf would be downright disgusting sticking to my face, but pie? Well, that would be a delectable delight!

In any case, the words seem frivolous and carefree until the food fight enters your home. Sadly, I’m not referring to the lively food fight above. I’m talking about the food fight with the kids, almost nightly, and the food fight with my partner over how much or how little food we have in our refrigerator, pantry, and freezer.

For me, I’ve always had a strong connection to food. As I mentioned in my recent post, Seasons Greetings 2020-Style, food has been an important tool signifying love and stability. It’s how I was shown love and how I show love in return. It’s imperative for me to have family meals…to the point where if they don’t happen for one reason or another, I get annoyed and feel unsettled, like something is drastically wrong with the picture…at least the picture that I’ve created in my mind.

That picture involves satisfied, full bellies at the end of a hearty meal, of course. But, in order to achieve those satiated tummies, it involves fully stocked shelves in my opinion. I’m sure, for some people, lightly stocked shelves are essential for a peaceful existence. But, that won’t cut it for me, especially not while I’m trying to raise a family. When the shelves are empty, there’s a hole in my heart. So, I must admit, I (over) stock our shelves to the point of plumpness.

Well, last night, that came to a head. As Matt was rummaging through the cheese drawer to enhance the garlic cheese bread he was making to accompany the lasagna and Caesar salad I made, I came around the corner to hear him complain that we had a bag of moldy cheese in the fridge and how frustrating it is that we have so much food that this somehow got lost in the shuffle and spoiled. Little did he know that the bag he was referring to unfortunately had mold on it when I opened it (before the date on the wrapper), and that since it was a hard cheese, I saved it thinking that perhaps I could just cut off the mold (right, cheese friends?).

“It’s just so frustrating,” he gasped with exasperation. After a long day at work, and countless nights of having the kids complain about at least one thing during virtually every meal, I lost it! I looked at him and said, “Ff you’re not happy with how I’m doing things, then, by all means, go ahead and do it yourself. You can do it all…the meal planning, the grocery shopping, the cooking. It’s all on you! I’m done!”

That’s right. I’m done! I’m done feeling a lack of appreciation for cooking nightly meals. I’m done being criticized for my food purchases, from “we don’t have anything to eat!” to “there’s too much food on the shelves.” I’m done…at least for the next month. That was our agreement after I had time to settle down from the fury that burned within me just minutes before we were supposed to sit down for our family meal last night. It burned like jet fuel on a hot summer night, as I sat and ate my lasagna, Caesar salad, and his “angry” cheese bread in my bedroom. Alone. Watching the Great British Baking Show just to cool off.

That decision for me, to give up cooking for a month, wasn’t easy. In fact, tonight I have a few pangs of remorse. But, I actually think this will be good for us. It will give me a chance to see how to do things differently. It will give me a chance to relax after work knowing that dinner will be prepared for me. So, I can grab a glass of wine, pull up a chair, and enjoy the changes that will unfold before me as someone else takes the reins. After all, I won’t have to think about meal planning or shopping for the next several weeks. Perhaps it will give us additional time to connect, that is, if I’m not busy occupying my time with something else…like self-care. Wait, what’s that I just said? Self-care? What a novel idea!

Photo by Tolga Ahmetler on Unsplash