Seasons Greetings 2020-Style

2020. It’s been quite a year. Exhausting really. Many people are facing challenges that just 10 months ago weren’t even a blip on the radar. Never in a million years would I have expected the shift we’ve seen. We took for granted the friendly hugs and handshakes that these days seem to be a thing of the past, and if they are given, it’s not without some degree of hesitation. As we enter this holiday season where such salutations used to be the norm, we are now greeted with a second round of lockdowns and government warnings.

Sadly, just as we were warming up to the idea of opening the front door to welcome a guest or two, we are now being cautioned not to spend time with anyone outside of our households, including family. Which, for me, is like asking me to watch Braveheart without a box of tissue within reach. Crushing and ridiculous at the same time. Crushing because the holidays for me are synonymous with family, and have you seen the ending of the movie? Ridiculous because you wouldn’t watch a sad movie without a box of tissue, just as we shouldn’t have to go through a holiday season without our loved ones. But, despite the ridiculousness, it is our current reality (hopefully not our forever reality).

This year, for us, is going to be a quiet Thanksgiving. Our three youngest kids will be with their other parents, and we won’t be celebrating with any of the grandparents. So, I’ve been reflecting on how to make it seem like this season isn’t a complete waste of time and effort. Despite our tradition of putting up our Christmas tree at the first snow (which happened in September this year), no effort has been made on my part to up the festivities around the house. There are still no ornaments on the tree. I haven’t strung the garland through the banister, set out my glitter laden holiday floral arrangements, nor have I carefully placed my favorite reindeer collection in a puff of fake snow on the mantel with Santa perched above watching his team.

It wasn’t until the other day, as I was talking with Matt about what we want to do for Thanksgiving, that it struck me. I can’t let the ho hum feeling I seem to have this year get the best of me. I asked everyone (well, just Matt and Issy, really) what they want to eat this Thanksgiving. Issy’s response was mashed potatoes. Matt’s response was that he wanted a sausage cornbread stuffing. “Great! That’s my favorite! That’s how my mom and I make it,” I said with glee and a sense of “I’ve got this in the bag” pride. He followed that up with, “Don’t feel any pressure this year. It’s just the three of us. We could eat on paper plates and that will be ok.” And, with those words, I wrote up a list of ingredients and headed to the grocery store.

If you know me, you will know that those words made me determined to make this year just as special as the holidays we’ve previously celebrated. I decided I want to go all out. Oven roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, turkey gravy, sausage stuffing, green bean casserole (affectionately referred to as “Dougie Beans” on my dad’s side of the family because they were my dad’s favorite), a baked cauliflower dish (something I’ll make up on the fly), and pie. Apple and pumpkin, of course! This year, I will be making my first ever pie crust from scratch, due in large part to the fact that they didn’t have the convenient Pillsbury pie crust at the store. But, also because what better time to start a family tradition than this year, right? That is, baking pies with our oldest daughter – my mom’s recipe for apple pie with my great grandma’s pie crust. I’ve already set a date with her for Wednesday.

This year, I’m a little nervous honestly. It’s been over 15 years since I’ve cooked a full Thanksgiving meal on my own. The first time I did it, I had just moved from Colorado to Pennsylvania. It was my first year without family. So, I did it all myself. Since then, I’ve had the good fortune of being with family and/or friends so we were able to split the workload. I’m sure I’ll be a little rusty. Things may not come out at the perfect time. But, I am going to do my best to remember that there is sometimes perfection in imperfection.

As the “mom” of this house, I feel it is my role to bring the family together and feel love through food. That is what my mom has done for me. Her meals are like a warm blanket on a chilly evening. They always made me feel loved, and in truth, her meals still make me feel that way to this day. I can still smell the simmering curries and the stick-to-your-ribs stroganoff. The smells are rooted in memories that bring a sense of comfort, peace, and warmth. And, with every homemade crepe she handed out one after another to my brother and me, she gave a piece of herself and her love.

So, I hope to bring that same sense of warmth and stability to my family. This is the first year that it will be just the three of us, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be underwhelming. In fact, I hope it’s the opposite. I hope that this year we can make it one of the most love-filled holidays I’ve experienced. After all, we now know what it’s like to miss our loved ones who are not living in our households. We’ve been separated for months now. So this year, I will hold those who are with me a little closer. I will relish the new traditions and the memories that we create. I will spread the love in my heart through the food that I will put on the table.

And, despite the lockdown warnings, my family will be there…my mom with her pie and stuffing, my great grandma with her pie crust, and my dad with his Dougie Beans. While they aren’t able to be here in person to celebrate, they will be at our table in spirit. Just like the rest of our loved ones who will be eating at their tables miles away. I hope they will feel it. In fact, I hope we will all feel a sense of warmth and community knowing that we’re all in this together, even though we have to be apart. We were given a kick in the ass this year. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t kick back! If we remember to bring a piece of our family to the table through food and tradition, we can make this a holiday season worth celebrating.

So, please, spread the cheer and share your ideas and traditions that will make this year special for you. Maybe next year, we’ll include them at our table.

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash