Planting the Seeds of Peas & Carrots

We didn't meet in a fairytale way. In fact, it was quite mundane. He came into my office one day with another gentleman. They came in to introduce themselves as the new building owner and property manager for the building I was working in at the time. I have to admit, I was struck by his looks and charm, but didn't think much of it at the time. I was happily married. I had a young son at home and was trying to make the best life I could for him, my husband, and myself.

Fast forward a few years. My (second) marriage was in trouble. I was unhappy. And, I was just coming off a wonderfully traumatic experience holding my dad's hand through the last six months of his life. (More on that latter.) Watching my dad navigate the inevitable questions that come up as he dealt with the eminent expiration of his life. He would ask me, "Are you happy?" I would reflect on my life, "Am I happy?" "Is this what I want out of life?" "Am I living my best life?"

All he wanted was for me to be happy. All I wanted (for more than 20 years) was to be happy. To feel peace. To feel love. In that journey with my dad, I learned that life is short. Like, 69 years short. Like, my 5 year old son who loved sitting on my dad's lap, who loved going fishing with his grandpa, not getting to learn the things I had hoped he would learn from my dad. That kind of short. So, I learned that being in a relationship that didn't fill my soul, one where I felt alone, wasn't going to work for me anymore. As much as I wanted it to work, it was my dream after all to have a happy family, I choked back the embarrassment of getting a second divorce so that I could move forward and live my best life.

So, there we were. A few years after my dad's passing. I had a new perspective on life and love. I would see the handsome property manager in the elevator, or walking into the building in the mornings, or in the bank lobby talking to tenants. We would make small talk. "Hi, how are you?" "I'm great thanks. You?" The usual pleasantries shared between people who work together. I was his main contact for my office, so we would chat about office things. I would let him know when toilets were overflowing or when our sink was clogged. From there, we formed a friendship.

Ironically, or perhaps just kismet, he was going through some things in his (second) marriage, too. Eventually, both our marriages ended in the unthinkable. Divorce sucks! We had both been through it twice. The self-reflection, self-doubting, and self-loathing that takes place during divorce, not matter which side you're on, is intense. And, here we both were, again! Feeling like shit. "What the fuck just happened? And, why is this happening again?" "Why did this fail?" "What's wrong with me?" "Am I lovable, or damaged goods?"

So, we went to lunch. I told him about my dad. He cried. I was shocked by the raw emotion that he displayed. And, that's when I knew I liked this person who was sitting across from me. The feelings started with, "I appreciate you." And, eventually, I moved to, "I like you." And, finally, to "I love you." But, in looking back, I knew. Our connection ran like lightening through my veins. He would always say, we go together like peas and carrots. He was everything I was looking for: intelligent, funny, charismatic, empathetic, and sexy! Damn sexy! That's how he got his nickname, "Sexy Matty Carrots." I became, "Sweet Peas."

Really, we do go together like peas and carrots. We compliment each other, but we are different in many ways. We are both growing as we embark on this journey together. We both have traumas and life experiences that have shaped us. We want to share our story so that people can see what it's like to live your best life and to see that doesn't mean live your "perfect" life. There are triumphs and challenges along the way. We'll fumble, and we'll fall. And, through it all, there will be laughter and LOVE!

Will you join us on our journey? Will you share yours? I'd love to hear from you!